And speaking of Vaginas…

Cailtyn Jenner, you don’t have one.  Although I support every human beings right to live life as they choose (providing they aren’t causing harm), you are not now, nor will you ever be, a woman.  You can dress like a woman, act like a woman, talk like a woman and believe yourself to be a woman but you, Madame, are not.

Saying you “feel like a woman” or “think like a woman” is crazy talk.  Have you ever, in your 65 years as a 6’2″, male, Gold Medal Decathlon winning life, ever wondered if today will be the day you are groped? Attacked? Abducted? Raped?  Because women think like that.

Did you ever suffer through the growth of your pubescent breasts, where even the slightest hug from Grandma almost brought you to tears?  (Not to mention the horrifying, ever creeping outward stretch marks that made your little nubbins appear to be some alien life form.)

Did you ever endure the taunts and stares from the boys (or male teachers) as those nubbins became full fledged breasts?  Maybe even a grab or two?  or three…

How bad were your menstrual cramps?  Were you a Pamprin girl or did you just suck it up like a champ?  Were you one of the brave souls who would jump in the pool, fingers crossed, on a 105 degree day or did you sit demurely, poolside and roast to death?

Did you ever wonder if your tampon would fall out during gym class?  Gah, gym class…don’t even get me started down that hell hole.

Did you ever change your plans because you were afraid to be out, alone, at night?  Did you ever have to watch your drink in a bar so that no one would slip something into it?  Have you ever been afraid because you are more than likely weaker than whomever may wish to harm you?

Have you walked down a street with your car keys laced between your fingers?  Do you even know what that means?

Did you ever have a pregnancy scare?  Sit and wonder what kind of shit show your life would become if you were to find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy?  No?  I didn’t think so.

Tell me about your pap smears, because those are pretty great.

Have you ever been denied a job because you are a woman? Get paid less? Told you might make more money or get better shifts if you were a little “friendlier to the boss”?  (true story)

Has anyone ever stalked you? Hit on you and then called you a bitch when you politely turned them down?  Have you been slut shamed?

Maybe if you had started down this path at a younger age, endured just a touch of what actual women go through, it would be a little easier for me to swallow.  But you haven’t earned your stripes. You managed to get a lot of the benefits that life has to give, as a man, without all the messy parts of being a woman.

Let me restate, you are free to do all the things you believe a woman is, but let’s be honest, you really have no idea what being a woman means or how a woman thinks. We are so much more than makeup, high heels and lingerie.

And speaking of Vaginas…

2 thoughts on “And speaking of Vaginas…

  1. Larry S. Mann says:

    I am a strong supporter of gay rights, and support people’s rights to go transgender as well, but I agree with you on this Mimi. I appreciate that I was born a man. Very very much. I have eight sisters, my mother, my grandmother, the mothers of my children, my lovers, and my best friends who have all endured so much as women that I am lucky n ot to have to go through. Total Bullshit for Jenner to try to claim womanhood in such a fashion. It’s the equivalent of going blackface and trying to get an NAACP scholarship.


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